Inside the Actors Studio
James Lipton : Ok, you bastards, welcome to 'Inside the Actors Studio"...
Zell : Well mate, we really shouldn't be here. Fangoram doesn't really act, that's just how he usually is mate.
Fangoram : MOSKAU MOSKAU!
Bunji : Yep, completely retarded.
James : Yes. Well, it's great to have you all on here. Lt me start off by talking to....The Don.
Garino : He's not here....
Don : *Appears out of nowhere* Here I am.
Garino : How the hell did you get here?!?
Don : Final Boss Powers.
Garino : HEY!
James : Well Don, you were in the Beatles classic, Yellow Submarine, where you played the role of Paul McCartney.
Don : No...I was the submarine.
James : Let's see a clip of it.
*Clip of the movie*
Don : Hey, stop dancing on me! JOHN, YOU ARE NOT HAVING SEX WITH YOKO ON MY BACK!
James : That was truely touching.
Don : Yeah. I mostly ad-libbed the lines.
Bunji : Like you adlib the WWFD's?
Don : Yep. Techinally, I'm supposed to have no lines. But I'm sticking it to HB and HX.
Zell : Please tell me you mean that metaphorically speaking, mate.
Don : ......Sure, why not?
James : And you, Bunji Kugashira, starred in tragically Othello-esque Oscar nominated film about you and Grave, called
"Passion Denied : The Tragic tale of Bunji and Brandon Heat." Denied in life, together death.
Bunji : I don't quite remember that.
Bunji : Oh Grave, finally, after you killed me in that one scene, we can finally be together. Having so much gay dead
Zell : Oy mate! Let's get plastered! Oh...sorry...I didn't know I was interupting....I thought you were straight Bunji...
Bunji : Well....I......shut up.
Zell : Oh....I'll just drink your part. You know, I always thought you sucked, but not literally.
Bunji : I hate you Zell.
Zell : Too late, already plastered. I won an oscar for that too.
Bunji : We all one one! Grave won one for best actor. Mika won one for best supporting actress. I one one for best actress,
and I'm not even a woman!
Zell : That's debatable mate.
Bunji : I will whip it out right now......
Don : And I'll go Captain Me on it......
Bunji : ....yes sir.....
James : Now Zell, you got started in the show buisness by starring in a commercial, let's see it.
*clip again, dammit*
Woman : I hate you! You can have this, and this, and these too. *Throwing Zell's clothes out the window*
Zell : *Waits a minute, then throws a Fosters through the window.
Woman : ....I forgive you mate...
Narrator : Fosters....Austrailian for love.....and beer....mostly beer.
James : You won a Pulitzer for that commercial. Please, discribe that magnificant performance...
Zell : Well, it was big, round and smells funky. And truth be told, that wasn't a woman. That was just some guy we found
on the street and dressed him up like a chick. I thought he was a chick too, because I was plastered, and he kicked me in
my bathing suit area. I think it was Don, actaully....
Don : No it wasn't....
Zell : I don't know mate, you said something about power being mine....and a chorus was in the background singing about
being a hero and retardation down to zero....
Don : IT WASN'T ME!!!! *Disappears....*
James : That....was truely magnificantly stunning. Next, we have the magnificant superdyke herself, Sherry "Shere"
Sherry : ......Only certain girls can call me "Shere"....they know who they are.
Fangoram : FOUTH WALL GO BOOM!
James : Yes, Mr. MacFinkelstienilson-Smith. But Sherry, let us talk about your role in the classic film : Sherry Does
the WNBA parts 1 through 100002.
Sherry : Yes, those were some truely classic films. I won a shitload of Ron Jeremys for that film series.
James : I regret to inform everyone that we can't show a clip from her films....
Crowd : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!.....
James : Actually.....we do have a clip.
Crowd : YAY!
Woman : Hello...
Crowd : What the hell.....
Zell : I saw a boob!
Sherry : Of course you can, you have your head in my chest.
Bunji : I'm next....
Sherry : There's a reason why I always ask to be written out of the WWFD's....
Bunji : To film another movie?
Sherry : Basically. The less time I spend you all, the more braincells I retain....Because you guys suck...Literally for
Bunji : Ok, who has the wimpy claw thing and who has the wolves?
Zell : Me.....
Sherry and Bunji : Shut up.
James : Now Sherry, what was your motivation behind your works of art?
Sherry : They were home movies.....I had a lot of free time on my hands....and a lot of dil....
Zell : Please...stop.....I don't need to hear the word....
Bunji : Dildo. She was going to say Dildo. Like what Garino uses.
Garino : Untrue! I use Herb!
James : Moving on.....Mr. Fangoram, you have won the most Oscars of the group, with a total of 37.
Fangoram : FANGORAM BLAME RAP!
Bunji : We all do Fangoram, we all do. Hey, has anyone played the new 50 Cent game? If so, we will offically call you
retarded and beat you down with baseball bats.
Fangoram : I PLAY IT!
Bunji : Why does that not surpise me? Wolves! With baseball bats!
Wolves...with bats : Aaaaarooooooo! *Start chasing Fangoram with bats....*
Fangoram : AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
James : Now, let us go to the magnificant clip of Fangoram's greatest performance, a documentary called "Fangoram
and Subway : A match made in the darkest part of Heaven......made by Garino."
Fangoram : FANGORAM WANT GGGGGRRRRRAAAAVVVVVEEE!!!!!
Subway Work 345 : I SWEAR TO GOD HE ISN'T HERE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE.........
Fangoram : SUBWAY NO HAVE GRAVE? THEN FANGORAM GO TO MCDONALD'S AND GET.......
Jared : Thank God for you, Hassan!
Garino : Hassan won an Oscar for Best Supporting actor for that. I wasn't even nominated for best director.
Don : That's because I did the directing. You stayed in your trailer with Herb.
Garino : Where the hell did you come from?
Don : Yoink *Leaves*
James : Did he say 'yoink'? Anyways, we have Bernard Pivot's famous questions that we always ask to our guest. Question
1 : What is your favorite word? Fangoram?
Fangoram : GGGGRRRRAAAAAAVVVVVEEEEE!
Sherry : Hmm..... Thesbian.....cause it sounds like lesbian.
Don : Me.
Garino : Herb.
Bunji : Wolf.
Zell : Beer!
James : Question 2, what is your least favorite word?
Fangoram : PAT ROBERTSON!
Sherry : Straight porn.
Don : Garino.
Garino : Captain Don..*Kicked in crotch*
Don : Actually, my favorite words are now THE POWER IS YOURS!
Bunji : Grave.
Zell : No Beer.
James : What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Fangoram : SPRONKLES!
Sherry : WNBA
Don : Me. Because I'm great.
Garino : Not being Captain Don'd.
Bunji : Grave.
Zell : Beer!
James : What turns you off?
Fangoram : GARINO!
Sherry : Garino.
Don : Garino.
Garino : These assholes.
Bunji : Garino
Zell : No Beer!
James : What is your favorite curse word?
Fangoram : *BLEEP*
Sherry : *BLEEP*
Don : Garino.
Garino : Doo-doo head.
Bunji : *BLEEP*
Zell : *BLEEP*ing Beer!
James : What sound or noise do you love?
Fangoram : MOSKAU!
Sherry : Any female sound after she has fallen to my Triple Sherry Attack.
Don : Me and Garino's Mom doing it.
Garino : Herb sucking like a...
Bunji : Grave.
Zell : Beer!...Flowing from a can, keg, or bottle!
James : What sound or noise do you hate?
Fangoram : GARINO AND HERB!
Sherry : Garino and Herb.
Don : Garino and Herb.
Garino : I hate you all!
Bunji : Garino and Herb.
Zell : No Beer flowing from a keg, can, or bottle! Mate!
James : What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Fangoram : President Fangoram!
Sherry : Muff Diver.
Don : Atilla the Hun.
Garino : A NBA player.
Zell : Don't you already have a clone that does that?
Garino : Oh Yeah....*Punches self* Jermaine, you stop that right now!
Zell : Basket Weaver.
Bunji : I was going to say fisherman, but basket weaving is way more exciting.
James : What profession would you not like to do?
Fangoram : BE GARINO!
Sherry : Straight Porn.
Don : Be Garino.
Garino : Be Captain Don.
Bunji : Be Garino.
Zell : Be without Beer!
James : And finally, If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Fangoram : We have Chicken Selects my son.
Sherry : Nice movies. Maria's in the back.
Don : How did you get here again?
Garino : Hey Garino! April Fools! You're going to Hell!
Bunji : So, when do you go back down?
Zell : Free Beer!
James : Excellent. Now we'll have questions from the students in the audience.
Kid : I'm Stewart, a second year acting major. My question is for the Don...Ahh! *Pushed aside by Mika*
Mika : I'm Mika, and I don't go here. My question is, How do I get more lines dammit?
Zell : You know what you have to do mate, be plastered all the time, like me!
Mika : But I'm underage!
Zell : So am I mate! I'm 13! I've been on Steroids since I was 5!
Spike : Is that true, or is that the beer talking?
Zell : Probably the beer!
Another kid : Hi, I'm Timothy, and Fangoram, I think we all would like to see some of your infamous violence.
Fangoram : YAY!!
*SCENE DELETED DUE TO EXTREME YOU WANTED TO SEE THE VIOLENCE, NOW YOU CAN, VIOLENCE*
Billy : My name's Billy, and I'm a ghost, and I'd like to say Allright!
Fangoram : GGGGGRRRRRAAAAAVVVVVEEEEE!!!!
Grave : .....................
Billy : He says, "Bunji, are you free tonight?"
Bunji : I heard him.....and yes.
James : Well, that's all the time we have. Please join us next as we....
Juji : Sieg Heil!
James : Is that a Swastika on his Di.....
WINNAHS : AREN'T WE ALL WINNERS?
LOSAHS : GARINO!
RIP Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005
Forever in our hearts.
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