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Fangoram
VS
HARRY POTTER FANS
___________________________
Garino : OK you bastards, I'm on Prozac, so get in here.
Bunji : So are you bouncing around like that damn retarded cartoon?
Garino : Tom Cruise?
Sherry : I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!
Zell : Let me guess....you saw your porno again with Maria, didn't you?
Sherry : Yep. She said she prefered my sweet young ass to Big Daddy's old and shriveled up....
Zell : I'd rather keep my lunch, so shut the hell up.....or, you could at least wait until I'm plastered off my ass, mate.....which
will be....about.....now. *Starts drinking a keg*.
Garino : Nice. Well, I'm experiencing sexual difficulties, and Herb ain't liking it. So, let's get this thing started.
Fangoram : I BE HERMIONE!!!
Don : You're more like Hormone-ie, like this fuckstick over here. *points to Garino*
Garino : And you wonder why I'm going to kill you at the end of the game? Oh...I.....Uh...Harry Potter! Umm...yes, the
book comes out tonight, and we're going to wait in line for numerious hours surrounded by complete morons....and for once,
I don't mean you guys.....
Everyone : Awwwww! That's so nice!
Garino : Blame the Prozac...that's what Herb does....anyway, we're waiting out there so myself and the giant retard get
our copies of the new Harry Potter book sooner than most people....
Zell : Wait...wait.....the retard can read?!?!?! Why wasn't I informed of this?!?!?
Bunji : He can't.....we just never told him he couldn't.
Fangoram : *Reading upside down book, called *See Spot Run** I READ WAR AND PEECE!!
Zell : I've read that book. It has a nice little plot twist at the end...
Sherry : Shh! I'm waiting to read that after Fangoram! Don't ruin it for me!
Bunji : Are you talking about War And Peace, or See Spot Run?
Sherry : See Spot Run, of course! I've heard that it's a classic.
Bunji : At the end Spot runs into the road and gets killed by a huge 18-wheeler driven by Grave.
Sherry, Zell, Garino : Noo!!!!! Spot!!!!!
*Meanwhile.....*
Spike : How could you Grave? How could you run over Spot?
Grave : .............
Billy : He wasn't trying to attack your crotch! You were in the truck driving over him!
Grave :.......
Billy : Well....no, I can't explain the uzis that Spot was holding....wait, how come you were driving and not Mika?
Mika : TENTICLE PORN!!!!!!
Billy : ............
Grave : Watch your mouth, asshole.
[/plot-twist]
*Back to Garino and friends*
Garino : OK, after the seires has been thrown off course, let's get going to he mall and get in line!
Zell : Wait....the mall....?
Bunji : Yes it's a big place where there's a lot stores located. And all the idiots are going there.
Sherry : So is that why we're going there?
Fangoram : I RIKE MALL!
Bunji : My point exactly.
Don : Will you guys pick me up some food from the food court? My wife refuses to cook, and when she does, it taste like
shit.
Wife : WHAT WAS THAT?
Don : Err.....got to go! *Runs to local unidentified hide out of mafia type people*
Garino : So lets go. To the mall!
Zell : To the mall....and hit on the Victoria's Secrets mannequins!
Sherry : Same here!
Bunji : All right!
Fangoram : I GO SIX FLAGS GUY!
Garino : Right.....Well, Let's go Commando Team. *Everyone strips and runs out the door*
Don : My eyes!..oh, Sherry's there too!
Harry : I'll kill you dead.
Bear : Not if I kill you first.
Harry : Crap!!!
______________
*5 minutes and 3 arrests later, the group arrives at the mall*
Zell : Friggin' Mall cops.....making me put my clothes back on....
Sherry : They made me put mine on too....
Fangoram : THEY SAID KEEP MINE'S OFF.
Zell : Which was damned scary.....
Garino : Well, here we are....in line.....waiting for Harry Potter....with a naked Fangoram. It's a dream come true...+4!
Bunji : And that's why we all hate you +5.
Zell : Well Bunji, moving on....I'm Harry Potter.
Bunji : No, I'm Harry Potter!
Zell : No, I am!
Bunji : No, I am!
Sherry : You're both wrong......everyone knows Harry Potter is a lesbian! So, I'm Harry Potter!
Garino : True that!
Fangoram : I FEEL TEH BREEZE!!!
HP Fan : Sir, can you please put that thing away.....for the love of my rods and cones!!!
Fangoram : ME GOT ROD!!!
Bunji : I've got a ramrod as well....in my pants!
Zell : I think that was already implied mate...
Sherry : It's almost Midnight, time to act like crazy's, rushing to grab as many books as possible!
Fangoram : YAY! RIOT TIME!!!
Bunji : Zell, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Zell : Kegger with Victoria's Secret Mannequins?
Bunji: ....Close enough, let's go.
Garino : Well, I'm on Prozac and I can't get an erection.....Harry Potter and Viagra, here I come!
Herb : Charge!!!!!
Fangoram : *Whips out ......*
Garino : NOT THAT FANGORAM!!!!
Fangoram : *whips out Center Head....and....*
Garino : NO!
Sherry * Pulls out claw....* : Well, the more we kill, the sooner I gets me books. So, let's go.
HP Fans : *trying HP spells, but finds out that they're not real....* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*SCENE DELETED DUE TO EXTREME PETRIFICUS TOTALUS VIOLENCE*
Garino : Yay...hardcover! Like my penis!
Sherry : Yaya..wait..no! No! NOOOOO!
Herb : Wait...yes! Yes! YEEEESSSSS!
Fangoram : GGGGGRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE!
*Outside of truck*
Spike : Dearly beloved, we're here to remember the life of Spot, freind to all but Grave, who ran him over.
Grave : *Thumbs up*
Billy : You're sick.
Juji : *Crying* No....little Brudder....I mean Spot!
Mika : Tenticle Porn!
Billy : Damn it Mika, get out of the bathroom!!!!
Mika : Uhh.....GIRL TIME!!!!
Billy : Crap, she's got us there....
Grave : ............
Billy : No, Grave, Bunji is technically a man.....even though you two got married....so girl time doesn't include him....
Grave : .............
Billy : No, I'm not buying tenticle porn for you either!!!
Juji : SPOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!
Grave : .................
Billy : You have no conscience, do you Grave?
Grave : *shakes head no, and gives the thumbs up!*
__________________
WINNAH'S : HERB! FANGORAM! GRAVE! GARINO!
LOSAH'S : SPOT! KATIE HOLMES! DON! PEOPLE WHO SAW FANGORAM IN THE BUFF!
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