Garino : Ok, you bastards, get in here.
Zell : What now?!?!? I was following my usual routine of beer, sweating to the oldies, drinking more beer, drunken target
practice, and drinking even more beer. And you ruined it!
Bunji : Yeah, I was doing something like that. Only without all of the working out, and the shooting.
Sherry : Yeah, me too. Except change all of the "beer" to "making out with former Olympic Figureskaters....except for
Tonya Harding." I was in the middle of Katarina Witt.....literally.
Garino : So sad. Anyway, Don gave us this dumbass mission, so the sooner we get done with it, the sooner we can
resume whatever the hell we were doing.....like me doing Herb. With a vacuum cleaner.......alright.
Billy : *walks in, smacks the shit out of Garino for stealing his catchphrase, and walks away*
Garino : *in pain*
Everyone else : Laughing. *while laughing*
Garino : Screw you all....freaking weirdos....who the fuck says "laughing" while their laughing?
Bunji : That's how us deadpeople laugh, and drunken Aussies as well.
Sherry : So dumbass, what are we doing this damn time?
Zell : Oi, what have I told you about calling me a dumbass?
Bunji : To do it often?
Zell : Damn straight! Wait....
Bunji : No take backs......dumbass.
Fangoram : DUMBASS!!!!!!!!
Bunji : Now even Fangoram is getting in on the action.
Garino : That's just wrong. Even in context, that is still pretty bad. Out of context.....that's just hilarious.
Sherry : So what the hell are we doing this week? If it involves me, Sheryl Swoops, and a few computer speakers.....I'm
Garino : No. Anyway, Don did something incredibly stupid.
Zell : He called into the Dan Patrick Show again, didn't he?
Garino : Yeah.....he bet that us, as a group, couldn't get a single gold medal. So, we're going to Torino.
Bunji : Isn't it Turin?
Garino : Only retards call it "Turin".....it's Torino! It's freaking Italian! Toe-ri-friggin' no!
Fangoram : WE'S GOIN TO ITALY! PRONKLESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!11!!!
Sherry : Yous be a dumbass, cause you ain't black!
Zell : Oy, Bunji.......we're crossing new, utterly stereotypical lines here, aren't we?
Bunji : Eh. At 200 miles an hour and rising. Honkey.
Zell : Oy, I've got something that's rising! I'll give you a hint, it's not a toaster. Or Britney Spears' penis.
Bunji : That's just nasty Peter....err....Zell.
Garino : Let's just get going.
*In Torino - Oylmpic Village*
Bode Miller : Hey guys. You finally want to take me up on my offer to take over this dumbass country?
Sherry : *Kicks him in the nuts, and they keep walking.* You've just got kicked in the nuts!
Garino : It happens all the time on the WWFD. Better get used to it punk. Anyway bitches, everyone....you know your events.
*Event 1 - Curling......with Garino and Zell*
Garino : Are you sure you and drink while playing?
Zell : Sure! It's all friggin' legal!
Garino : Oh......*Pops open a beer* Let's go.
*Together, Garino and Zell start curling......in record time? We don't know, it's freaking Curling. What do we look like?
Canadians? Well.....HX kinda is....*
Final Score : Canada : 4. Garino and Zell : 21. They're legal. Unlike the figure skaters.
Bryant Gumbel : Well, two more white guys won ANOTHER Gold Medal in Turin. On the other hand, the black folks, Jamanca......kinda
were DQ'ed for pot. Once again, turning the Curling event even whiter than a GOP Convention.
Reality : *Walks in and beats the living shit out of Bryant Gumbel. Because he's a friggin' dumbass.*
*Event two - Luge with Bunji and Sherry*
Bunji : Since when is this intergender, interratial luge?
Sherry : I don't know. The bigger question is why the hell am I paired with you?
Bunji : You want to get paired with Garino?
Sherry : Point taken.
Bunji : Soo....you want me to be in the front, or the back...alright...
Billy : *Walks in and smacks Bunji for stealing his line*
Sherry : Thank you! *Throws the semi-conscious Bunji on the sled, and Luge starts....*
*They go downhill....and downhill.....and downhill......and then uphil--gotcha. Downhill some more.....faster than the
other people. And come on people! It's professional sledding!*
Bunji and Sherry : *Finish first, barely beating out Jamanca*
Bunji and Sherry win gold.
*Event three - Figure Skating with Fangoram*
*Fangoram steps onto the ice, starts off with a triple-sow cow, and does a triple lutz, skates around a little bit, before
doing a jumping split while eating a Chicken Select. Then he does a double-backflip, into a quadrouple sow-cow........and
ends in a dramatic pose.*
Judge 1 : 10
Judge 2 : 10
Judge 3 (French Judge) : *Head asplodes*
Judge 4 : 10 and a phone number
East German Judge : 8.
Fangoram : EAST GERMANY NO EXIST NO MORE!
Zell : The retard knows history and geography?
Fangoram : WHICH SIDE EAST GERMANY?
Zell : Spoke too soon.
Fangoram : FANGORAM DESTROY ASSHOLE JUDGE!
*SCENE DELETED DUE TO EXTREME ALL THREE PEOPLE ACTUALLY WATCHED THE WINTER OLYMPICS TONIGHT! EVERYONE ELSE WAS SUPPORTING
STACY KEIBLER. START SUPPORTING! VIOLENCE*
Fangoram wins the silver, the Japanese girl wins the gold.
*Final event - Beer and wine Drinking contest.*
Zell vs. Canada, Germany, Ireland, England, Italy and the U.S. combined.
*twelve hours later*
Zell : 100000th beer.....
the last guy (Irish) : I'M FINLAY, AND I LOVE TO FIGHT------*passes out*
Zell wins the gold medal for Beer and Wine Drinking.
Zell : Another one to add to my collection. Goes with Lake Placid, Nagano for sake, Calgary and France. I would say Salt
Lake City, but stupid Mormans.
Bunji : Well, this was a great waste of time.
Sherry : Even through we all won......at least we'll have the memories.
Garino : Really?
Sherry : No.
Fangoram : GRRRRAAAAVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Meanwhile.....wait, there is no meanwhile. This was taped about 7 hours ago. Currently.....well, let's just say they
fell asleep waiting for this crap.*