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Cerberus Overdose......A Gungrave fansite

Valentine's Day Special

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I don't think we've done one of these before.

Maria : Alright you bastards, get in here!
 
*Brandon, Harry, Bear, and Bunji all enter the room.*
 
Harry : Hey...why in the hell have we been summoned in here?
 
Bunji : I have a distinct feeling that I'll be hearing that line in a semi-weekly basis in the future..
 
Brandon : That's a strange feeling, Bunji.
 
Bunji : I thought so too, Big Brother!
 
Maria : I didn't call you morons in here so True Grave can continue their 'bromance.' There is a reason I requested your presence here.
 
Bear : I'm Bear Walken!
 
Maria : No shit, Sherlock. Now shut the hell up.
 
Brandon : It's okay, Bear...we still care.
 
Harry : See what you did, Maria? You hurt Bear's feelings!  Since when did you turn into an uber-bitch?
 
Maria : Around the time I got power. Why?
 
Harry : No reason....(I can't wait to overthrow you, old man ball-licker...)
 
Maria : Anyway, the reason you are all here is that my beloved, Big Daddy, needs to buy me a Valentine's Day gift. Since he's too busy to do it himself...
 
Bunji : How very thoughtful...
 
Maria : ...he requested that I handle it. Since I wish it to be a surprise, I decided that the four people I can tolerate the most should handle it.
 
Bear : How kind of you.
 
Maria : I know, really! Anyway, go buy me something nice, put Big Daddy's name on it, and you all can have tomorrow off.
 
Harry *finally interested* : We'll take the case!
 
Maria : Good. Now go! And make sure it's pretty!
 
Bunji : Whatever, bitch.
 
Maria : If you don't want your 'wolf' spayed, you'll watch your mouth.
 
Bunji : ........
 
**********
 
*In the Major Shopping Plaza*
 
Harry : I mean, why does he still call himself 'Big Daddy'? I mean, at his age, there has to be major shrinkage.
 
Bunji : It makes you wonder if he ever was the 'Big Daddy' at all...
 
Bear : I really don't know how Maria gets off, honestly...
 
Brandon : Guys, is this really appropriate conversation? I mean, really!
 
Bunji : But, Big Brother...?
 
Harry : No, I'll handle this one Bunji. *To Brandon* Buddy. Amigo. Copatriot. Mon Ami. I know you have something to say on the subject. So, just let it out.
 
Brandon : .....Fine. Big Daddy is called 'Big Daddy' for a reason.
 
Harry : ....you mean....?!?!?!
 
Brandon : He's compensating.
 
Bear : I totally knew it!
 
Harry : *Distracted* Hey, guys! Do you think Maria wants jewlery?
 
Brandon : Probably. What did you have in mind?
 
Bear : It can't be good.
 
Bunji : Sounds like fun. Let's follow his lead, Big Brother!
 
Brandon : Shut up, Mokuba!...err....yeah, ok Bunji. Harry, lead the way!
 
*The men enter a Victoria's Secret.*
 
Harry : Hold still, Brandon.
 
Brandon : But, why me?!?!?!
 
Harry : Quiet. Bear, Bunji, do you think Maria would be super hot in this?
 
*Brandon is wearing....a see-though nightie.*
 
Bear : Totally.
 
Bunji : You look good in that, Big Brother!
 
Brandon : I'm watching you, asshole.
 
Harry : All right, it's settled! Now, on to phase two!
 
Brandon : There is more than one phase to this plan?!?!?!
 
*******
 
Harry : Just so it doesn't look like we're planning something, we're gonna get her some jewlery...
 
Bear : Sounds fine.
 
Bunji : So, I imagine this will be the first thing she opens...
 
Harry : Of course. The nightie will be second.
 
Brandon : *Running over to them with a diamond necklace.* Here, I found the best one.
 
Harry : Excellent work, my friend! Now, she kind of has to!
 
Bunji : Has to what, big brother?
 
Brandon : Well Bunji, when a woman recieves a diamond, a magical thing happens!
 
Bear : Ok, let's not go there. What's part three, Harry?
 
Harry : The best part yet! Let's go!
 
*********
 
*At an un-named shop...*
 
Brandon : Harry, you magnificant, evil bastard.
 
Bear : This is the most evil thing we can possibly do.
 
Bunji : So, what are we waiting for! Let's go!
 
Harry : Hah hah hah....AAAHHHH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!
 
Bear : What a crappy evil-villian laugh.
 
Harry : Shove it!
 
Brandon : Let's just go!
 
********
 
(Later that night...)
 
Big Daddy : Maria, my dear. Happy Valentine's Day! *Hands gifts*
 
Maria : Ooh! A Diamond Necklace!
 
Big Daddy : ....
 
Maria : Oh! A Nightie...you kinky bastard.
 
Big Daddy : *takes a few Viagra...*
 
Maria : And something else! What....is.....i---
 
*Maria holds...a giant dildo.*
 
Maria : 'The Big Daddy.' I will kill those bastards!
 
*****************
 

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