Simon : Well, these last few auditions have been absolutly dreadful.
Randy : Yo dawg....
Paula : Be nice Simon....they were not all bad.
Simon : Oh please....If I want to hear bad, I'll just listen to one of your CDs.
Paula : Oh, you want to play like that? Fine! If I want to see gay, I'll just watch that online video of thirty gay men
Randy : Yo dawg!
Simon : You can't prove that's me.....*Cell phone rings, reciever picks up*
Phone : Simon, this is Garino....the gangbang is tonight, and the guys are getting antsy...I mean, it's your turn to play
Paula and Randy : .........
Simon : I think they have the wrong number....
Garino : Simon Colwell, I know you're there....well, I'll just see you tonight! Bring the whip!!
Paula : ......
Randy : .....Yo dawg.
Simon : Not a fucking word.
Clay Aiken : And they call me gay....at least I get poo tang....female poo-tang, thank you.
Simon : Next contestant....NOW!!!
*Fangoram walks in*
Paula : You are....Fangoram D. McFinkilson?
Fangoram : I SIGN!
Simon : I can tell this is going to be horrid.....
Randy : .....Yo Dawg......I might actually agree with you.
Clay Aiken : *Earplugs in, reading a Playboy, featuring Paula Abdul.*
Paula : *Reading a Hustler featuring a lesbian scene between Paula Abdul and Sherry Walken*
Fangoram : SECRET SONG!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOU!!! I NEVER KNEW IT WAS TRUUUUEEE, OH SEC-A-RET SONG!!
Simon : My ears are bleeding.
Randy : Yo Dawg......Yo dawg!!!!
Fangoram : SONGS ARE MADE OF MYSTERIES!!!! AND CLOUDS ARE MADE OF MOONBEAMS, SECRET SONG!!!!! SECRET SONG....I LOVE
YOU ALL NIGHT LONG. I CAN'T STAND TO SEE YOU GO, SECRET SONG, I LOVE YOU SO...
Paula : He wasn't that bad...
Simon : You're right,....he was damned horrid. I can't feel my ears.
Fangoram : YO DAWG!!!
Randy : Yo dawg, that's my line!! I'll kill you!!!
Fangoram : YOU NO LIKE FANGORAM SINGING, FANGORAM WILL WILLIAM HUNG YOU!!
Simon & Randy : Oh crap...
Clay : *Ear plugs still in, still reading, needing tissues...*
*SCENE DELETED DUE TO EXTREME CLAY SO SHOULD HAVE WON SEASON 2 VIOLENCE*
Simon, Randy, and Paula : *Dead*
Clay : Huh? What I miss?
Fangoram : YOU LIKE MY SINGING?
Clay : Yeah, sure, better that real fruitcake Justin's...
Fangoram : FRUITCAKE!!!!! GGGGRRRRAAAAVVVVEEEE!!!!
*At taping of The Price Is Right*
Bob Barker : Ok Mr. Grave, you get to spin the wheel, and if you land on the dollar, you can win $1000!
Grave : .............. *Poses*
Billy : *From audience* Watch your language!!!
Bunji : *From audience* Right on bro!!
Grave : ........... *Uses coffin, preforms Hellhound Roar*
Bob : Wow, that was sexy/stylish/cool...
Bunji : The price is wrong bitch.
*Wheel lands on dollar*
Mika : *From audience * Yes!! We're thousandaires!!
Spike : I can't see over this pedistal...
Juji : Stupid Pedistal.*Slices new car in half*
Bob : Don't worry, it was only a freaking minivan. Folks, help control the stupid population, have your kids spayed or
nuetered. Have a good night!
*Show ends with Grave and Bunji doing massive posing....*
Winnahs! GRAVE! CLAY AIKEN! BUNJI! FANGORAM!
Losers! AMERICAN IDOL....freaking morons....
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