I don;t own Gungrave. And who honestly gives a damn?
Sleep...one thing I wish for more than anything else.
But I can;t, not until I write about - hell I don;t know I just cant seem to stop writing lately.
Maybe it;s because of her or - nah. Who am I kidding?
She just fell asleep a few minutes ago, God how I wish I could be with her.
But...How, I can;t do that. Not yet.
Hell I don;t even know what to do anymore;
The look on her face, she; She finally looks happy.
To think about all of the shit we've been through, I'm surprised it all ended up like this...
And when I think about that, how I always expect the worse possible thing to happen no matter what I do to change it.
Always sickens me to my stomach.
God I'm not making much sense am I?
...Didn't think so...
I'm not even sure of what I'm going to do now. All I have left is her.
Is that all I'm left with now? Protecting her for the rest of my life?
It;s not like I;m against doing that very thing but I always thought I;d have something more in my life;
Ha! What am I even thinking? I;ve had my ;life; already; I died in that damn tower.
I died young to, twenty-seven years old;
Why am I even writing about that? Screw it, I;m getting back to the main point of this.
I;ve been with her now for six years. Why? Simple. Her mother, Maria had asked me one afternoon if I would look after
Maria was a strong, intelligent and beautiful woman. She knew what would happen in the years to come, she just wanted
her daughter to have a chance at life.
For that I respect her. I always will.
Ever since I was brought back, all I;ve done is stay with her. I have to; it;s my life long promise.
Things have gotten rough though lately, were almost out of money. Most people would tell us to get jobs or something,
heh, if only they fucking knew.
Knew how tough our lives are because of what I;ve done over the years to save others and her.
I couldn;t care less about everyone else in this damn world. Just as long as she, My Mika was safe and sound.
We can;t get jobs or do much else without some kind of problem starting up. Whether it is the police or the idiots of
this city, we will always be the outcasts.
I hate them for doing this, I helped them. I treated every damn one of em like family!
And yet were left with nothing. It;s like we where dolls in their stupid fucking game. And for that.
I will never forgive them.
I;ve been able to save up some money over the past week.
It might not seem like much but I;m hoping to surprise Mika with the money tomorrow. I know I need to eat. It hurts enough
just to think about it.
Maybe, just maybe tomorrow will be a good day for the both of us.
We could go out like we used to;Have fun, not have a care in the world. God I miss those days;
We still do things though. We rarely leave the house so anything to pass the time usually works. Watching one of the four
channels on the TV, sleeping, cleaning up.
And my favorite one.
It gets rid of our problems, not to mention we can;t remember anything the next morning.
A funny side affect because we always wake up, how would you say; together; every morning.
It;s become a habit over the past few months though. So far as if there isn;t even any alcohol in the house that we will
- well I think you get it.
I ask myself every day if she might actually want to do this. I;m pretty sure I know the answer; she has been in love
with me since she was thirteen after all.
I just have to get around to asking her;
Maybe I will tomorrow morning-
No make that in two and a half hours.
It;s funny how time flies when you;re writing. It;s 4:15 am; I could have sworn I started this thing at 12:30.
I can;t think of anything else to write;
I guess that;s my cue to go to bed.
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