*Garino walks onto a random stage, and grabs the mic.*
Garino : Welcome to the Fourth of July Special. We can assure you that this won't be anything like Juji Kabane's "Nice
Day to be a Sieg Hailin in Germany" or Grave's incredibly offensive randition of "The Alphabet Song"
*Flashback*
Grave : .................
Billy : Damnit Grave! The fourth letter of the Alphabet isn't "Fuckstick!" That's the 6th letter of the Alphabet you
damn retard!
Grave : .............
Billy : Watch your fucking mouth! There are Africian Americans in the audience, you know!!!!! I mean, who says that all
black people need to get rid of rap and be en----- *CENSORED*
African Americans : *Utterly speechless.*
*End Flashback*
Garino : And you see, this is why we don't let those two out of adult supervision very much. Now, for our singers.....first
we have the Don.
Don : Why am I doing this again? I mean....don't I have a Mafia organization to run?
Garino : Well you suck at life. That's why you're here.
Don : See this sword? I will gut you like a fish with it.
Billy : *Offstage* - He might like it!
Garino : I hate you....
Don : We know. Hurry Up with the intros so we can get the fuck out of here.
Garino : Next is Bunji Kugashira. He's Canadian, but we got him drunk enough to sing today.
Bunji : *Stumbles onstage, and promptly passes out*
Garino : *Kicks him a few times, then moves on* Well, that was a waste of time. Next is Zell Condorbrave.
Zell : Where is the free beer?
Garino : Next is....
Zell : You promised free beer! Where is the beer?
Garino : You were lied to, dumbass.
Zell : .....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Garino : Well, next we have Sherry Walken who.....*Juji runs out and hands Garino a piece of paper* .....oh, thanks.....well,
let's see....."Skipping your craptacular event to make out with the American All-Nude Swim Team........." Awww............
Don : As if you care Garino...I mean, you screw dead men!
Zell : Yep, right up their dead assholes...
Don : Up their dead poopholes.....
Bunji : *still passed out*
Garino : Shut up! Well, next we have Beyond the Grave.....
Grave : ...............
Billy : *offstage* Watch your mouth Grave!
Garino : Riiight. And finally we have the giant retard beloved around the world for some damn reason, Fangoram!
Fangoram : I EAT HOT DOGS ON ROIDS!!!!
Garino : I am literally surrounded by idiots.....well, these morons are singing God Bless America, because well....no
one knows the Star Spangled Banner. So, get too it. Dead Bear Walken on Piano, hit it!
Dead Bear Walken : *Starts playing Piano*
Zell, Don, Fangoram : GOD BLESS AMERICA! LAND THAT I LOVE
Grave :...................
Don : STAND BESIDE HER!
Zell : AND GET HER PLASTERED......
Don and Zell : SO YOU CAN END UP WITH A CHEAP FREAKING FUCK!
Fangoram : TO THE MOUNTAINS......
Grave : ................................
Fangoram : SOMETHING SOMETHING, LIKE THE CHICKEN SLECTS!!!!
Don, Zell : GOD BLESS AMERICA, OUR HOME SWEET HOME!
Grave : ...............
Fangoram : GOD BLESS AMERICA, MY DOME SWEET DOME!!!
Zell : That's not the bloody line, retard.
Fangoram : ME SO SORRY!
Don : Well, that's good enough. Have a good 4th everyone.
Bunji : *Still passed out, but speaks anyway* And....a....happy.....Kwanzza. Or....what....ever........
