Fangoram

VS

_______________________

Garino : Ok you bastards.....please, come in here.....Zell, you may come out from the hiding.

Zell : Is the eye gone?

Bunji : ...........No.

Zell : AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

Garino : Stop toying with the Aussie! Zell, calm down or no beer!

Zell : I'm good to go!

Garino : OK, I've set up a huge race against Grave and the others.

Sherry : Wait, three legged race again?

Don : Who comes up with the idea to reuse the three-legged race?!?!?!? I have no adopted son!

Bunji : What are ya talking about? He's right there?

Don : Hey......shut up.

Garino : No, this time it's going to be a street race. With like, cars and stuff.

Bunji : Eh....well.....I've been drinking. A lot.

Don : And this is new because....?

Bunji : You don't want me driving now, do you?

Don : You drink and drive anyway. That's not new....

Bunji : My car was repossessed....

Don : Ok, that's a valid excuse...

Zell : Hey mate, why don't Bunji and I do commentary....for this crappy thing. I'm sure ESPN2 would love to have us....

Sherry : I can see the censors hanging themselves now.

Bunji : That's the plan!

Fangoram : FANGORAM RACE SPEED RACER BOXCAR!

Zell : I only see this ending in a horrendous way.

Garino : That's the way anything ends with us, if you haven't noticed.

Bunji : That's why we're the funnest people around.

Don : "Funnest" isn't a word retard.....

Bunji : ............yet.

Don : Crap...he's got me there.....

Garino : Anyways, get your cars, and lets get going.

*At start point*

*ESPN2 Logo comes up and we see.....Bunji and Zell....with the microphones in hand..*

Bunji : Welcome to our EPSN2 street race of the week.

Zell : We're your hosts Zell Condorbrave and Bunji Kugashira the Grave.

Bunji : We all know that all the racers today suck ass, but who cares?

Zell : It's fun to watch the 'special' people race.

Bunji : So why aren't you in there then?

Zell : Well...I'm drunk off of my ass Bunji, soooo.......fuck off.

Bunji : And on that note, let's introduce the racers!!! First, we have Garino riding.....his my first motorized big wheels!

Zell : What a dumbass, Bunji....what a dumbass....

Garino : I can hear you, you know.....

Bunji : And we don't care! Next we have someone dear to my own dead heart.....Beyond the Grave driving his badass motorcycle!!!

Grave : .............

Bunji : Yes Grave, the Hispanics are responsible for ESPN Deportes, and no...they're not responsible for....

Zell : We're soooo going to hell for this, Bunji...

Bunji : Yeah....we know. Anyway, next we have the Don in his horse driven chariot.....

Zell : I don't think that is very legal...

Don : It is now!

Bunji : Good enough! Next we have Spike on....yes, his trikkie!

Spike : I can't find my bell!!!!

Zell : Maybe someday, he'll graduate to a two-wheeler, but not this day Bunji.

Mika : Don't forget your helmet Spike!

Spike : Aww....my helmet make me look gayer than I am, like Garino.

Garino : Hey, I made you....

Bunji : Which is why he's allready so damn gay.

Zell : Next we have.....some fat guy....

Bunji : Can it be? Yes! It is Bob Poundmax!!!

Bob : I want KFC, Lee!!!

Lee : You'll get it after the race, fat boy.

Bob : Yay!

Zell : Well, Bob is in his trademark Oscar Mayer Weiner-mobile....

Bunji : Which explains why he's always a foot long ahead of everyone else....going into KFC.....and Lee's ass.

Lee : Hey! Shut up Madness!!!

Bunji : What did I tell you about calling me that?!?!?!!?

Lee : That only Brandon could on your honeymoon.

Bunji : Damn straight!!!

Zell : Anywhoo......next is Richard Simmons.....what the hell?

Richard Simmons : Hello people!!! Sweating to the Oldies!!!!

Bunji : Yes, Richard Simmons will be driving a chariot pulled by...yes, fat people while blasting the oldies on a boombox he has with him....

Zell : That's just wrong mate...

Bunji : Remember that time he killed 50 Cent?

Zell : Good times mate....good times. Wait, we were not there for that?!!!

Bunji : .....oh yeah. Well, who cares. Next is Sherry Walken....driving a limo....filled with lesbians....wow, saw that one coming....

Zell : Yes...can I be there too?

Sherry : NO!!

Zell : Crap...

Bunji : Well, last and definatly least...we have Fangoram McFinklstien McGee....Driving.....the Mach 5.

Billy : How the hell did he get the Mach 5?

Juji : It's actually just a box that says 'Mach 5' on it.

Mika : How could you see that.....hehehe...box.....

Juji : Well....I WOULD see it....but....a certain GARINO screwed up my vision...

Garino : I told you! I pulled out your eyeballs so I could have a little fun with the sockets! After, the Don made me put something else in it's place....so after....

Juji : Just stop....I don't want to know....you sick, sick freak.

Bunji : This is one reporter who doesn't disagree with that, Zell.

Zell : I see the point....now, let's race!!!

Lee : *in pink bikini* On your mark! Get set! Bob, stop eating your stering wheel...

Bob : Aww.....

Lee : And.....

Bunji : TAKE IT OFF!!!!!

Grave : .................

Bunji : Sorry!!!!

Lee : I not taking it off for you, mister....anyway....GO!

Zell : And their off! Except for Spike....and Garino.....they're playing tididly winks.

Garino : Ha, I win again!

Spike : You suck!

Herb : You better believe it!

Spike : Eww......

Mika : Shut up, you know you like it!

Lee : So Billy, why aren't you guys racing?

Billy : Well, Juji's blind, I'm a ghost, and Mika's, well....

Mika : Tenticle porn!

Lee : Where?!?!

Billy : I hate you all.

Zell : Well, Don is in the lead....with Fangoram close behind, trying to eat the horses....

Fangoram : I WANT ME CHICKEN SELECTS!!!!

Don : THEY'RE NOT FOOD YOU MORON! THEY'RE GLUE!!!!

Bunji : It looks as if Sherry....has driven herself right out of the race....and into a building....that looks like a motel...

Zell : Looks like some X rated action going down there, Bunji. I think we should take a closer look....

Sherry : NO!!!

Zell : Damnit! Anyway...Richard Simmons and Bob Poundmax are neck in neck....with Richard trying to give Bob some health tips...

Bob : So I'm not supposed to eat fried chicken all day?

RS : Nope honey Bunny!

Lee : Hey, he's mine!

Bob : For once, two guys are fighting over me....it's a dream come true..now only if there were some fudge around, it'd be perfect.

Zell : And that is a disgusting thought, Bunji.

Bunji : Yes it is, Zell. Well, it looks like....yes! Lee took out all of Richard Simmons' fat people, thereby disqualifying Richard Simmons!

Zell : It also does not look like Bob is going to finish this race either....he's having another heart attack...

Bunji : Well Zell, that isn't a funny thing to joke about. Heart Attacks are serious things....

Zell : Yes they are. Now Lee and Richard are fighting over Bob's prone body....trying to figure out who will give Bob mouth-to-mouth.

Bunji : Nasty stuff there, Zell. Now, Grave is taking the lead from Don....who still has Fangoram close behind.

Zell : Hold on....what is this.....Garino and Spike are actually starting to move past the starting point now!!!! They are in a dead heat for last place!!!

Bunji : That is exciting news there, Zell. Now.....I think the Don has just pulled out his trusty samurai sword....

Don : I NAMED IT SALLY!!!!

Bunji : That deserves some psychiatric therapy....meet me in my office later....

Zell : It looks like Don is trying to take a few swings at Fangoram...

Don : Stop eating my horses!

Fangoram : STOP HOGGING ALL THE CHICKEN FRIES!

Don : Wait....what?....Ahh to hell with you *Swings..uhh...Sally at Fangoram's tires, slashing them*

Bunji : It looks like Fangoram is going to crash into....yes! An old lady on the sidewalk!!!!

Zell : Oh, this should be fun to watch, Bunji.

Old Lady : Oh it's such a nice day out....I hope I don't get hit by an asploding retard in a makeshift Mach-5....

Fangoram : I ASPLODE-'GAIN INTO OLD LADY....AGAIN!!!!

Old Lady : Aww....crap. Again.

*SCENE DELETED DUE TO EXTREME WE ARE SO GOING TO HELL FOR THIS ONE VIOLENCE*

Zell : Well, it's comming down to Don versus Grave with the finish line fast approaching!

Bunji : What's this? Mika has just pulled the truck in front of the finnish line!

Don : Aww........poo.......

Grave : *Ducks* .............

Billy : No more about the hispanics! Or the Dutch! Or the Chinese! Or the Mexicans! Or the British and their funny accents! Or the Antarticians! Or the.....

Bunji : Don't forget the Swedes!

Billy : Now those are some nice looking ladies there.

Mika : I'm a Swede...

Billy : I stand corrected.

Bunji : It looks like.....yes! The Don has just crashed into the truck, causing much distruction and pain to himself and those poor, poor horses.....

Zell : Grave has successfully slid under the truck, and right across the finish line!!! Grave wins!!!

Bunji : You know what this means, the American League gets the homefield advantage in the Major League Baseball World Series!

Zell : Again??!?!?! Why, at this point...no one cares!!!

Bunji : The race for second is an exciting one....between Garino and Spike....

Zell : How you said that with a straight face Bunji, I'll never know.

Bunji : Anyway, They are just reaching the point of where Bob Poundmax is reciving double-mouth-to-mouth!! Who knew, Zell?

Zell : I'd rather not know, Bunji.

Bunji : Wait, what's this...yes, the Don has just crossed the finish line, with two broken legs.

Don : Freaking horses.....off to the steel mill with you!

Zell : Well, this has gotten ugly, so we must get going. I'm Zell Condorbrave...

Bunji : And I'm Bunji Kugashira the Grave, saying goodnight, and go fuck yourselves!


*about X hours later*

Spike : Yay, I got third place!

Garino : Aww....you cheated....

Spike : It's not my fault that you stopped to get a quicky with Herb....

Garino : .........I hate you......

_________________________

WINNAHS : GRAVE! DON! SHERRY! ZELL AND BUNJI! THE AMERICAN LEAGUE!

LOSAHS : GARINO! FANGORAM! OLD LADY! BOB! THE NATIONAL LEAGUE!!!

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